Weight: 147

For so long I’ve fought myself. I’ve forced fad diets upon myself, and foods down my throat that I never crave, or cringe to look at. (history of my diet here) I’ve made many empty promises to those around me about “doing it this time” or “I’m gonna start tomorrow”. So many people have lost faith in my efforts, and judge my actions endlessly. Its only a part of healing, but they’ll never understand. They’ve never been plagued by an eating disorder. The broken promises that hurt me the most are those I’ve made to myself. I’m the one who wants me to be a certain weight. I’m the one who made everyone see my present self as an issue, an abnormality, and something to bend like cold metal into the shape that it belongs in. With force and speed comes the eventual bounce back. As I go back and forth, motivated to unmotivated, heavy to light, nothing gets any better, only worse. Diets do not work. They harm your body far more than help in the long run. That’s why I’ll never diet again. Continue reading “Weight: 147”