My mind is very strong, and I keep trying to give myself advice. I overthink every detail of the extremely primitive instinct of eating. Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re not. That’s all I should pay attention to. I think my world will really open up if I could do those two simple and supposedly natural virtues. My stomach acts as a bottomless hole that can consume and consume and never cease to expand. The amount of room in there is shocking. I’m either hungry or nauseous because I ate too much, there’s no in between. I don’t know if I’m lacking some chemical or if it’s all in my head. The easily confronted matter is that of my mind. Recently I’ve been testing the waters to see if I can cleanse myself of the diet mentality, and this ever nagging binge eating disorder I’ve acquired. I keep telling myself to find something else to do instead of eating. I ask myself “am I really hungry?” I do so many things to quell my undying desire to consume a flavor that ultimately leads me to ail. Some days are harder than others, some cravings are worse than the rest, and sometimes I just can’t. But I always try again the next day to improve my physical health. No matter what I eat, my mental health keeps improving
I have a little goal of breaking into the 130s by April 17th. I’ll be hiking a lot over spring break, so that’ll help, and hopefully my physical health incline will be as steady as the hills I so desperately seek. I weigh 146 right now.