I wonder if things hadn’t gone this way
Would I be the same as I am today?
If I hadn’t ever met that boy
Would I have lost any joy?
Would I have found the new toy?
Will he be the one to take the new joy and destroy?
If I never avoided eating that
would I have ever gained the fat?
Would I be where I want right now?
Instead of crying about how
It’s so very difficult to make the change
That I know will make me stronger the next day?
I started at too young an age
If I had never quit that game
Would my lungs have become inflamed?
Would I cough with many breaths?
would I hurt the organs in my chest?
since October it’s come and gone
I lose my voice, unable to sing a song
I wonder if she never left
Would I be here or be depressed?
Would I lack the motivation
To overcome the problem that still rages?
Or If he had never gone away
Would I miss him every single day?
would I be different
would I be the same
If I had not forgotten that name
of the one who truly cared for me
or the one who said goodbye to their dream
Just so I could live this life
That could all be ended by the knife
of the tall dark figure who lurks in the woods
Preying on young blood who dare cross his path
On their exploration across the world
never again to be heard
Will I return?
Will I be next?
Will I end up with a shot in the chest?
Inflicted by who?
By man or beast?
Will I make it to the sea?
Where waves crash with brilliant intensity
where I am free
Or will I walk the rugged shores?
of mountains and rivers, and whatever more
Will I return the the place I left?
Will I come back having done my best?