Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a big day for a lot of things. One of them being immediate change, and another one being moving even further toward my eventual evolution.

 

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Tomorrow I get dreadlocks. 9 hours of my life, in a windowless shop. They do have two guinea pigs though, which I absolutely love and look very much forward to holding. Now before I go on, I’d like to say that I’m very aware of the fact that the outside doesn’t have to match the inside, and what you look like is only .1% of who you are, but…

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My dreadlocks are a huge milestone in my forward positive migration. I’m learning myself now more consistently than ever. While physically, I’ve recently been at a slight standstill, my mindset gets clearer and healthier every day. To me the dreads are going to be a test of patience, confidence, and self growth all together. Mostly patience due to the fact that I know I’m prone to having hair meltdowns when I make hair changes, and dreadlocks are a MAJOR hair change. I want to get better about my quick snaps of panic and anxiety. All I want is to be chill, chill like my people. I over think everything. The confidence factor is finding confidence from within rather than only the exterior. There’s a good chance that I won’t be as pretty with dreadlocks. It’s hard to write since I want everything to be great and fun and pretty, but I don’t have the thickest hair and I could very well regret a lack luster mane. In which case, I’d have to relight a confidence from inside myself to carry my ugly hair around with my head held high. Another thing is the fact that people are going to judge me. A LOT. My conservative town isn’t gonna give me a second look after they see my hair, on the bright side though, that weeds out the sum of my city and filters the positive tribe into my life. All of the people close to me know and support me in my dreadlock decision, and that’s what matters to me.

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I’m going to not only change my hair, but implement some new thinking into my life. I’m a very “start date” kind of person. I have to pick a day or time and then do something then. The right now random day approach messes with my brain. (another thing I’m working on) but nonetheless, I’d fancy adding another aspect of chill to my mind. It’s vague, but that’s because not even I know exactly what it is yet.

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I’m going to jump back on the clean eating train. I’ve definitely been slacking, but I feel gross, my skin is angry, and I quite frankly want to lose weight. I’ll elaborate on my diet in another post.

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